So, in a bizarre combination of motivation and spite, I decided to sign up for the Marine Corps Marathon. Which means I have just under 6 months to get in shape enough to be able to do it. This…is clearly a mistake.
“But Sarah,” you say. “Running is so good for you! You’re going to love it!”
“But no,” I point out. “Running makes your toenails fall out, your joints grind together, something called ’shin splints’ that sounds like something they did to Mel Gibson towards the end of ‘Braveheart,’ and I hear that some running people lose bowel control. At least that’s an accident, I also hear that others pee on themselves. On Purpose.”
“Yes but think how thin you’ll get!”
“Have you met my metabolism? Watch, I’ll take up running, and actually gain weight.”
But, I’m doing it. Why?
1) I already paid for it. And it was a hundred dollars; hate to waste a hundred dollars. Even so, I will now list for you the things I would rather spend one hundred dollars on:
* 100 bags of Skittles
* 20 beers at Stardust
* These Burberry Rain Boots
* 30 Dunkin iced coffees
* Wait, why are all these food-related?
* Half an iPhone
2) My ex-boyfriend is doing it. He would never run with me when we were together. Team Spite!
3) My sister already signed up for it, and will literally kick my ass if I back out. She’s buying plane tickets.
Shin splints, a’hoy.
And yes, this is why I quit smoking. Oh, smoking. (Sniff.)
Week One ended yesterday, and is brought to you by the letter “E”. For “Excuses, excuses.”
Week One Training Update:
My sister-designed training program involves mostly walking for the first four weeks, and mostly really short distances to start out with. This way, I won’t just say “yeah…no.”
Sunday: Rest day
Monday: 1.5 miles in 23 min (walk)
Tuesday: E is for Excuse! Twisted my ankle, and it was blue and puffy, so I sat on my lazy butt instead of doing my obligatory mile.
Wednesday: 2 miles in 33 minutes (walk)
Thursday: Rest day
Friday: Cross training day. Which I did, only if you count “crossing” champagne with beer and margaritas. Damn you, alcohol, you vile temptress!
Saturday: Long run day! Did 3 miles in 45 minutes (walk/jog)
All in all, not a stellar week, since I wimped out on training twice. But my twisted ankle is better, my allergies that also left me feeling decidedly poo-esque have abated with the pollen-drenching rain, and I’m fairly proud that I did the jog/walk combo for the 3 miles, in a time that doesn’t make me totally embarassed.