Play Something Country
This post at Pandagon had me cracking up.
Essentially, a blogger posted a bit of a web rant warning of the dangers of little Miley Cyrus and her possible foray from pop music into country. In short, the blogger was concerned that her somewhat tarted up image and alleged liberal leanings would taint the wholesomeness of country music.
I’m sorry…what?
Y’all, despite my Yankee status, I am a HUGE country fan. I love it; it is essentially all I listen to. A couple years ago, I even bought a “mega ticket” at the Nissan Pavillion (I refuse to call it by its new name) (snerk!) to go to 7 different country shows all in one summer. I wore a cowboy hat and sang along to every song. Zac Brown’s first big hit, “Chicken Fried,” might be one of my all-time favorite songs, and kinda makes me wish I was from Georgia. So please understand, what I’m about to say is coming from a place of love.
Country music ain’t wholesome.
This has driven me crazy for a while now, mainly because the country music station in DC edits the word “ass” out of the terrific Zac Brown Band song “Toes.” I’m always like, “Really? When every other country song is about killing someone? Really?”
No really, it’s true: So far as I can tell, many (many) country songs are about one of three things: Drinkin’, Cheatin’, or Murderin’. Don’t believe me? Let’s have some examples then, shall we?
Also–I am not judging…I think these songs are all pretty much awesome. Nothing wrong with a good honky tonk number — just feeling the need to point out the ridiculousness of the notion that country music could be “tainted” by, of all people, apple-cheeked little Miley Cyrus, who’s never sung a good drinkin’/cheatin’/murderin’ song in her entire young life.
Regardless — on to the categories!
Drinkin’ Songs:
Drunker than Me (Trent Tomlinson) – Guy is upset his previously teetotaling girlfriend has started boozing it up, forcing him to be the responsible one.
It’s 5 O’Clock Somewhere (Alan Jackson) – Guy blows off work to get drunk all afternoon.
Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off (Joe Nichols) – Self explanatory.
All Jacked Up (Gretchen Wilson) – Lady goes to bar for just one drink, ends up getting hammered, knocking out another lady’s tooth, and then crashing her truck.
Ten Rounds With Jose Cuervo (Tracey Byrd) – As a down on his luck guy drinks ten shots, his night improves with every drink.
Cheatin’ Songs:
You Can’t Take the Honky Tonk Outta the Girl (Brooks & Dunn) - Drunken trollop from the big city returns home and runs off with her second cousin’s fiance the night before the wedding.
Stays in Mexico (Toby Keith) – An insurance salesman from South Dakota cheats on his wife and family with a first grade schoolteacher after too many margaritas in Mexico.
The Thunder Rolls (Garth Brooks) – This a Very! Serious! Song! about the dangers of cheating. Mainly? Women always know.
Before He Cheats (Carrie Underwood) – Guys: if you value your vehicles, don’t cheat on Carrie Underwood. For real.
Why Don’t You Stay (Sugarland) – In another Very! Serious! Song!, a lady having an affair with another woman’s hubby comes to her senses and dumps the guy.
Murderin’ Songs:
(Soooo many to choose from, so I’ve broken it up into “Fun ‘n’ Folksy Murderin’ Songs” and “Very! Serious! Murderin’ Songs.”)
Fun ‘n’ Folksy:
Goodbye Earl (Dixie Chicks) – A favorite of karaoke gals everywhere, who because of the funny and folksy tone of the song may not realize that the song is less about gal power than it is about a woman who is so brutally beaten by her husband that she enlists her childhood best friend to help her murder him.
Papa Loved Mama (Garth Brooks) – Upbeat number wherein the titual Papa puts Mama in the graveyard for stepping out on him. At least the song also points out that he ends up in jail.
Kerosene/Gunpowder and Lead (Miranda Lambert) – Kerosene = You Cheat, You Die! Gunpowder & Lead = You hit me, you die!
Very Serious Murderin’ Songs:
Independence Day (Martina McBride) – Beaten wife kills her husband and herself in a horrible fire. Upbeat!
Folsom Prison Blues (Johnny Cash) – Shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Classic lyric, still a very bad thing to do.
Cocaine Blues (Johnny Cash) – Has the bonus of being about murder AND drugs! Drugged out guy shoots his woman then sleeps with the gun under his pillow.
Whiskey Lullaby (Brad Paisley/Allison Krause) – Ok, so it’s about suicide, but it’s still pretty dark stuff. Actually this might be more of a drinkin’ song….because it’s about former lovers who drink themselves to death. One from heartbreak, one from guilt. I mean…wow, now I’m depressed.
What are your favorite delightfully UN-wholesome country songs?
I have a soft spot for “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy” and “Did I Shave My Legs for This” but those aren’t really unwholesome. Though frankly, to this city girl, the whole “sexy tractor” thing is kind of disturbing…
I’ve always thought that country songs seemed to belie the wholesome lifestyle image- I know there is a hell of a lot of drinking and cheating and murdering going on and I barely even listen to country music!
I didn’t touch any Chesney songs in this post, you just made me realize!
First, She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy is part of an entire other sub-genre within country: Tractor Fetish. See also: “International Harvester” and “Big Green Tractor.”
I could honestly make this a ten-part series dissecting the various themes and underlying messages in country. I could have a field day tackling it from the feminist perspective and the ways it reinforces traditional gender roles, and the notion that the father’s job is, in part, to protect his daughter’s virginity. I can think of two songs off the top of my head that involve a Daddy threatening his daughter’s suitor with a shotgun. (What Was I Thinking? and Cleaning This Gun)
God, I love country though. I’ll be damned if it isn’t all catchy!
OK, now I’m really scared! Tractor-fetish is a whole subgenre of country? I’m off to listen to some Alice Cooper…
My favorite was always “angel of the morning” by Juice Newton. I still laugh at what my mom was thinking when her 5 year old daughter was belting out lyrics about sleeping with a dude and not making him call you back.
I’ve been listening to country music all my life (from Louisiana with an Arkansasan mom). Pretty much every old song is about something like this: Every Hank Williams song (cheating, drinking, suicide all common themes), every one of the “outlaws’” songs, not to mention all the ladies of country music. Not to mention their actual personal lives which are filled with multiple marriages, drug abuse, cheating, prison stays, etc.
Growing up, my 3 favorite songs of all time were “There’s a tear in my beer” by Hank Williams Jr. and Sr., “Sunday morning coming down” by Johnny Cash and “All my exes live in Texas” by George Strait. None of those are wholesome but at least they didn’t use the word Ass. That would have been tragic.
I the words of David Allen Coe, the perfect country and western song must include something about mama, or trains, or trucks, or prison, or gettin’ drunk.
Seriously. I mean, I think the rich and sometimes dark and twisty stories in country songs are what make them awesome–they are actually songs ABOUT something. But because sometimes they are about things that appeal to conservatives, people just assume that country is some sort of ode to good family values, when really, it can be just as depraved as gangsta rap!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Alex Priest, Sarah Wurrey. Sarah Wurrey said: Relatively epic new blog post challenging the notion that country music is in any way "wholesome".
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Johnny Cash had a three-CD set in which the discs were each titled either “Love”, “God” or “Murder.”
On a historical note, country has its roots in Irish Folk Music. I believe there were quite a few jigs and reels about all three of the above, and certianly no shortage of drinking songs.
Also, it seems that every other blues song is about shootin’ my woman down. Rock and Roll, which was only somewhat lighter fare, combined the two. The only truly wholesome music is usually teenage pop, which is exactly the kind of crap that Miley Cyrus actually sings, whatever steel guitars might be in the mix.
Lastly, let’s not forget that Miley’s daddy’s big hit was ostensibly about heart attacks. (tongue in cheek)
I don’t even know quite the words I’m looking for but basically eff you for putting Cash in the same potential genre as Miley. Its just twisted. I feel like Cash was more adopted by country out of Rock because he’s from the south. Thats bout it.
Oh, and my tractor is sexy. Bitches.