IM of the Week
My friend Matt O’Malley (aka “Big Red,” aka “Moma,” aka “Underpants”) posted a transcript on his blog of our recent IM chat about what’s happening on “Lost.”
Generally speaking, this is a b.s. way to get out of writing. And considering that “b.s. ways to get out of writing” was practically my college major, I’m all for it! Heck, I might just make it a running feature. Since not everyone likes “Lost” (the incredibly stupid, for example, or communists), I’ll go with an exchange I had with my friend Sara (aka “Taco Salad”) this week, in which we used our cramped kitchens as a metaphor for life.
(I, unlike Big Red, edited this for grammar and typos, so as to make us seem much smarter than we are.)
Me: Dude, I’m so proud of myself, I cooked last night. I made chicken, and steamed broccoli, and even mashed potatoes. It’s like I was a normal person for a night.
Taco Salad: Nice job! I should cook. I have such a small kitchen though.
Me: Hey, my kitchen is hardly big.
Taco Salad: It’s bigger than mine!
Me: I don’t have a dishwasher though, so making dinner kind of sucked because I had to do my dishes so the maintenance man coming the next day wouldn’t think I was a pig.
Taco Salad: I don’t have a dishwasher either! And I’m totally jealous of your kitchen. You have all that cabinet space.
Me: I have extra kitchen cabinets, you have a loving husband and a cute baby. I think it’s a wash.
Taco Salad: Fair enough.
…
Taco Salad: I’ll totally trade you for the cabinets and a dishwasher.
Me: Throw in the dog and you got yourself a deal, sister.
To summarize:
Some of my cabinets, for...
Not Mr. Taco Salad, or El Baby.
