My well-documented War on the Kindle continues this week, with my latest article on Media Bullseye. The comments so far are firmly on the Kindle’s side, but I did manage to recruit one person on my side to chime in. Pretty good back and forth, definitely check it out if you’re inclined to gadgetary discussions.
(Yes, I made up that word, what of it?)
(And speaking of gadgets, I had already indicated I wanted a Nintendo cake for my 30th birthday, which is looming on the horizon like a grim spectre of spinsterhood, wrinkle cream, and Ben-Gay. But now I think I want this Inspector Gadget cake. If this Ashley chick gets one for her 30th, why not me?–via Cake Wrecks.)
My latest column is up on Media Bullseye–Check it out!
This month, I attack needless Twitter apps, Facebook TOS Hysteria syndrome, and my favorite target for marketing mishaps: PETA. (This one somehow involves puppies and the KKK–PETA never fails to entertain.)
It’s been almost a week since I last published. So much has happened it’s tough to keep my head on straight. Between several movies, a phlegm-rocket of a cold, spending more time than should be allowed by the Geneva Convention in the DMV, and the rejuvenation of one Jack Bauer (to say nothing of Tony Alameida’s soul patch), I can hardly keep up.
I don’t know about you, but I like to break things down by the numbers:
3: Number of Oscar-bait movies I saw in the last week. On Saturday, despite perhaps feeling a bit under the weather with what I like to call a bit of a Bud Light Flu, I pulled myself off the couch and into a bin of Junior Mints and Diet Coke to take in both “Doubt” and “The Reader.” The first I had hardly any interest in, but figured whenever you’re pitting Streep vs Hoffman, that’s a bit of like a Bauer vs Bourne death-match. Something you don’t want to miss. (By the way, I’d take Bourne in about two seconds if I wasn’t convinced Bauer was monitoring my blog for disloyalty.)
This film basically blew me away, and I could have a four-hour debate over the ending, which set out to do exactly as the title suggests, leave you in doubt. It was remarkable.
“The Reader,” on the other hand, left me a bit perplexed. Compelling, and with a great performance from Kate Winslet (who managed to play her character so well that I didn’t even notice she spent half the film in the nude) (then again, I’m a straight female, so maybe not as easily distracted by such things). But in the end, I found myself checking my watch. The greatest test of a movie is whether you check your watch more than once–I checked mine three times. Regardless, might be worth seeing for Winslet’s performance alone, she should bring home an Oscar (a long overdue Oscar, and one she should have won for “Little Children”).
Sunday, after mimosas, bakery doughnuts and brunch at the Carlyle with the girls, we took in “Revolutionary Road.” Another great Winslet performance, another Oscar-bait film that left me checking my watch. I heard some critics referring to this one as “American Beauty, minus the laughs.” That assessment is quite unfortunately true. There are a few good laughs, but I cracked up mostly at how hard poor Leo was working to keep up with Winslet, who was so far out of his league acting-wise that he seemed borderline terrified for most of the movie. He’s a fine actor, but she is just about other-worldly.
This criticism is all irrelevant, naturally, because the crux of “Revolutionary Road” can best be written by my 18 year-old “Titanic”-era self, which pretty much spent the entire two hours going “OMG Kate and Leo, omg..so, it’s like, they survived the boat sinking, and totally escaped her witchy mother and her totally jerkface fiance–who was way cute, but dude, he HIT her and called her a tramp, that is just like, sooo not cool, even though his manservant was pretty badass. But anyway, it’s like they totally survived and then got married, and OMG, their kids are SO cute. But yeah then she like, wants to move to Paris and OMG, just like in Titanic when he talks about being in Paris and she’s like WE should go to Paris, and omgomgomgomgomg.”
In other words, I loved every minute.
Moving right along…
7: The number of times I rolled my eyes at the cringe-inducing banter at the Golden Globes. I love the Golden Globes. Everyone knows that injecting a few hundred gallons of booze into a roomful of celebrities who are probably already a bit high (either on various drugs or their own sense of self importance) (coughTomCruisecough) is a recipe for hilarity. But aside from Ricky Gervais chugging beer onstage and griping about his lack of nominations, I didn’t think there were many “Wow” moments. Darren Aronofsky flipping the bird at Mickey Rourke (on camera) was probably the most scandalous thing to happen all night, and even that was basically something of a “meh” moment. Worst presenters of the night: Emma Thompson and Dustin Hoffman, who engaged in nonsensical, chemistry-free banner that left me taking “Last Chance Harvey” right off my “to-see” list post haste.
0: Me. As in, Patient Zero. It appears that the minor cold I suffered at the start of the new year, has launnched itself through jsut about everyone I know. I’m not shouldering all of the blame, it is cold and flu season after all. But four co-workers and two friends have all been taken out by it. I’m thinking of blaming my father, when he drove me to the airport after Christmas he spent more time coughing than talking–a deadly combination.
3: Number of times I had to go back to the lovely Alexandria DMV before I was able to get my car registration and new driver’s license squared away.
(Redacted): Amount of money it cost to do this. Bye, new living room chair and dining set! It was nice thinking of you for the time I was standing in line at the DMV, but it appears we won’t be meeting any time soon.
75: The number of people in the queue while there were only 6 of 15 possible service windows open. Keeping in mind that this queue is the second of two queues, the first being the wait to actually get handed a deli-style number. The lady I dealt with was alerted to the 75 people waiting by her subbordinate, who suggested they open another window or two. The response? “They’ll live.” Ladies and gentleman, your tax dollars at work!
1: Jack’s official body count (according to the Bauer Kill Count tracker) on season seven of “24″ thus far. Granted, I cannot vouch for the accuracy of that count, because I have only seen the first episode and still have three others backed up on the DVR. And yes, I am duly ashamed. And terrified…if you see Jack, do not inform him of this transgression. I will watch them tonight, I swear!
13,084: Number of times the cats have scratched their brains out on my bedroom rug, despite all my best efforts and spray bottle aversion therapy. I’ve been meaning to get them a cat tree from PetSmart at some point this week, that is rapidly moving up to priority one. At least they’ve left the couch alone…for now. Something tells me Jack Bauer wouldn’t have these problems. His cats would be trained ninjas who didn’t need a litter box.
Sniper skillz. I has them.
That’s about it–I’ll be back tomorrow with thoughts on Social Media Club DC, which I’m attending tonight. And I should have a new column up on Media Bullseye soon, I’ll post the link when I have it!
I will have a proper post later on tonight, with very blurry camera-phone Christmas pics and perhaps a complete analysis of the relative attractiveness of the Princes William and Harry from adolesence to adulthood. In the meantime, if you’re so inclined, check out my latest article on Media Bullseye.
After struggling for weeks with the realization that my life in DC will not be as social media-focused as my life in New England, I wrote up a quick list of five ways to still stay active in the community when you’re strapped for time, and/or you’re a couch potato with no motivation to do much when you get home from work but watch all those episodes of “House” backed up on your DVR. (Not that I fall into that category, ahem.) (What?)
